Memories
by haatonooku
Summary: Ichigo is plagued with memories. Dazed and confused, He panics and flees the soul palace in order to find out the truth. He only knows a couple things. One, They aren't his. Two, they're from several people. Three, they're not just memories now, but revelations, premonitions. Who can he trust? Who can he not trust?
1. Memories From A Lost Relative

Hi everyone, this is Kazeshinimeyo here, nice to meet you all. I recently adopted my two cousin's fanfictions after their deaths a few years back. I will be editing those and posting them later. The chapters that are already in existence are entirely their creations, I do not own them. However the preceding chapters are mine.

This is not the case for this fanfiction in seeing that it is purely mine. If there are any grammatical errors, please notify me, I will see to it immediately that it is corrected for all those Grammar Nazis out there.

This story will have the pairing of the most requested pairing. I will try to do my best with any European language for the language of any requested story of any rating.

**Summary of this story: **This takes place after chapter 540. Ichigo is given his real Zanpactou after finding out that the entity we knew to be (Tensa) Zangetsu, was in fact Juha Bach from 1,000 years past. He leaves the Soul Palace without seeing the Soul King, left without telling the rest of his friends where he was going… But what's this? He begins to see visions of memories he was never supposed to remember… Are they really his? Did they belong to the hollow that Tousen named "Shiro"? Are they the memories of another Quincy? Of one that has not yet passed? Or is it something much darker? Are these some sort of Premonitions or are they Memories? He must decide soon, to know which path to follow he must ask. But ask whom? Who is it that he can trust when all he knew to be true was nothing but lies?

Pairings: (Undecided, but you can give me some inspiration as to which of the following pairings shall be in this story. Multiple pairings are possible as memories resurface and premonitions arise.)

Ichigo x Rukia (memory as well as saying "Good Bye")

Ichigo x Orihime (memory and saying "Good Bye" right before the confusion part)

Ichigo x Riruka (premonition/memory)

Ichigo x Uryu (memory)

Ichigo x Uryu (during confusion)

Ryuuken x Ichigo (extremely bad creepy memory that I may just include for plot)

Isshin x Masaki (will or will not be included no exceptions. I decide where it goes.)

Ryuuken x Masaki (just little hints)

Juha Bach x Masaki (memories through the Hollow named "Shiro")

Juha Bach x Ichigo (confusion, memories, premonitions)

Juha Bach x Ichigo x Haschwald (premonition)

Ichigo (from memory) x Grimmjow

Ichigo (from memory) x Ulquiorra

Aizen x Ichigo (memory, premonition, confusion)

Ichigo (from memory) x ANYOTHER ESPADA / QUINCY / SHINIGAMI / HUMAN

* * *

**行こう****!**

Mysterious POV

_I woke up in a cold sweat. Again… This might as well be the five hundredth night if this occurrence hadn't happened just seven months ago… That hollow… That hollow. _

_Just seven months ago I had met him along with a Shinigami I protected. He… He bit me… In my shoulder… I'm glad that he did or else I wouldn't have been able to defeat him. After that the wound would always hurt whenever I summoned my bow. Ryuu-chan said that it was my Reiatsu flowing through my veins, that it is my very blood, the blood that I received from my Father… He said that as a Quincy, a pure blood, that I should never contaminate my blood with that of another's, if I ever did I would be impure and then would be taken by our King, my Father… How can he believe such trivial nonsense? It's just a Legend that one would tell their children to prevent the children from using their powers without plans and calculations… if they were ever to be caught that is the fate that would be fall them. I think it's funny though… as the Legend goes: "There once was a sealed king, whom had lost his mind and power long ago from a great battle with a devil from the other world… The seal would be broken and the king would regain his heart after 900 years. 90 years after, his intellect would return. And 9 years afterwards, his power would return. To regain his powers, the king would have to steal the powers of impure Quincy". Or at least that's how I think it goes… I think that there is also another part to the legend which says that fallen pure bloods would never die and would wait in torment until the next Ausscheren*. German isn't my best language, like it is for Ryuu-chan, so I have no idea what it means…_

_Anyways, I've collapsed 13 times since then… but not as often as I did right after the incident when Shiba-san** saved my soul… But that's not the only thing that's changed. I've been noticing that someone has been following me and the more they follow me, the less likely I am to collapse. Even if I collapse… the same shadow lurks over me every time I wake up, yet disappears when I manage to figure out what happened to me. _

_Oh! I'm also going to go to University soon! Ryuu-chan says that I should go to Karakura University… Just so he can keep an eye on me. He's soooooo over protective! I can handle myself! After all, I saved a taichou of the Gontei 13, a Shinigami! I saved one of the strongest Shinigami! Ryuu-chan said I shouldn't have done that and doesn't say much more than that even if I were to ask him more about it. No matter- I'm done brushing my teeth and taking a shower now… I should go say 'hi' to Oba-sama*** or else she's going to be worried… I've already collapsed in the shower four times already… three times Ryuu-chan was just standing there doing nothing besides staring at my- aw now I'm blushing… Oba-sama just scolds me every time, without scolding her perverted son. I mean I'm NAKED! Hello?! NAKED! Oh well… Ah I hate these large marble stairs… when I have my own house there is no way, NO WAY, I'm ever going have marble stairs. My feet were sooo warm, now they're practically frozen. I should have brought my shoes with me-. _A dark purple-blue light overtakes the sunlight that radiates from the windows. The large wooden French-style shutters slam against the windows, without a sound. The candles on the piano in the music room go out. _Huh? What's this? What's going on? Did the air become thicker? No… It's drier yet heavier. My Hands, they're sweating… My head is pounding… Oh no! I'm going to faint. The-_

_Mmmm. My head… it hurts… Hmm? I'm warm… It's so warm… and it smells like cinnamon. So comforting…_

_**"Masaki… My darling, wake up" **_A rich voice radiated towards her ears. _Hmm? _

"_Wh-Who's there?" I open my eyes to find a strange, yet comforting, bearded man sitting above me. "Who… are you?" I ask him. I'm laying… in his lap… he's cradling me in his arms. I should be creeped out, but his eyes… they're so comforting, I've never seen such warm, loving eyes. _The Mann**** smiled down at the girl laying in his lap, wrapped in his long black cloak. Masaki reached up and brushed the stray locks of long black hair that peaked out behind the hood the man was wearing, back into the hood and behind the man's ear. _"It's you. You actually stayed this time…" I whispered. He smiled at me as my fingertips traced his left cheek bone, down his cheek and grazed the edge of his well-managed beard. "It's rough yet smooth, funny."_

"_**Of course, why wouldn't I, my child?" **_The Mann grinned faintly at her. _**"If you understood that what is happening to you is- well destined to be- the best for the Quincy race." **_The Mann brushed Masaki's bangs behind her ear before resting his thumb on her nose and pressing slightly.

_Why am I not afraid of him? He's a stranger… and the only lesson I took from my dead-beat parents was never talk to strangers… I mean how cliché is that?! Masaki, Masaki, Masaki… DON'T GET OFF TASK! "What do you mean __**'Better for the Quincy race' **__?" _Masaki puffed out her cheeks, curled her lips and scrunching her eyebrows, mocking his accent and tone with lisp. The Mann chuckled, amused by her humor even in an unfamiliar situation. Her courage was astounding. How could she remain so calm? He knew he picked right when he set the plan into motion. It was all coming together perfectly.

"_**Masaki, my sweet child, you will not affect it directly, but your future-self will… It doesn't necessarily mean you… But your little pieces and shards will… You will have to sacrifice yourself… For the good of your Volk, your family and all that is good. The world is cloaked in darkness and shrouded in evil. You must make the decision, the decision that will restore peace and justice to the world. Are you willing to take that responsibility? Will you save your people and our world?" **_The Mann shifted Masaki higher into his lap. Her head rested on his shoulder and his arms curled around her waist to pull her closer to him. _**"I've been watching you, my darling child, Masaki. Should you choose to accept it, I will personally ensure that your future and shards of will, will forever be protected."**_

_He says that he has been watching me… I should run, this Mann is a creep I should run… he is not a normal man nor is he like any of the other men I have ever met… Not even the purity-obsessed Ryuu-chan was this creepy… Strange. Even now this Mann doesn't freak me out, nor does he strike me as being peculiar or weird. He's… alluring. I feel drawn to- No. I should answer him. Now. "Yes, I will. I accept. Of course, for my people, anything for my people." _She replied quickly without needing much effort directed towards thinking about what that actually meant for her. The grip around her tightened and she began to lose her train of thought.

"_**Excellent. Splendid, my child… Soon your own body will begin to reject itself and your blood with try to eradicate the impurities from your soul… only then will I come for you again… All in good time… In four years you will bear the key to our victory over evil."**_ A dark glint in the Mann's dark blue eyes***** appeared and his face drew closer to her face as her back was turned so she faced now faced him. Masaki's vision was fading as a soft, cold chuckle filled the dark, now cold, grand foyer. ******

Ichigo POV

"NOOOOOOOO!" I woke with a start, screaming at the top of my lungs. '_What the FUCK was that?! I-I don't know what that was… I…' _ Looking down, I take in a sharp breath. _'Well… Fuck… Why did that happen? I better go wash up in the hot springs… or the hell blood pond or whatever he called it…' _ Wincing, I stumbled up, blood from my fresh wounds dripped to the rock beneath my feet. '_What happened in that dream to my mother…. Happened to me in reality. What are these things…? These dreams… Why are they testing my sanity, my mind, my strength? Did those things really happen to her? That bastard, Juha Bach… He's been doing everything… He's been behind everything from the very beginning and now there are more and more people dying because I can't seem to be able to save them.' _Removing my waraji then my tabi. I uncharacteristically aligned them into a square, bordering them with my hakama-himo. Folding my hakama as best as I could with knowing minimal folding etiquette… '_Pfft. If Ishida saw me right now he would kill me, shoot arrows through my head, screaming about how I'm improper I am. I haven't folded a hakama since I was still at my doujou, I tried to prove myself worthy by folding my teacher's hakama… I ended up ruining it… There was just so many straps… Speaking of straps… Tensa Zangetsu's new Bankai Shihakushou appearance has quite a lot of straps… How am I supposed to fold this? If the Old Man could see how much I'm failing, he'd be sure to scold me for calling him "Old Man" considering that I'm in Bankai form. He'd be too young for me to call him that anyway. There done_.' I set the folded hakama inside the square made of waraji, tabi and hakama-himo. I removed my kosode and folded it, placing it on top of my hakama. Wearing nothing but my shitagi, I slipped into the Blood Pond Hell. '_I remembered that he said not to stay too long in the White Bone Hell or else we'd have burns and other scars if we didn't enter without protection… yet… I could withstand the pond without any marks, burns or scars. I wonder why that is.' _ I laid back and slid underneath the water's surface.

I dozed off and found myself coughing up large quantities of clear hot spring…. Reiatsu filled…. Whatever that stuff is. '_My lungs and throat burn. Maybe it's just my skin that can't be burned by this stuff. I slip out of the pond when it finally hits me… Zangetsu was never real. Zangetsu was just a remnant of that bastard Juha Bach… an enigma on my soul. He… used me for his experiments… his research… his… oh shit I'm going to-' _ I run behind the springs and fall to my hands and knees as the contents of my stomach empty themselves onto the stone beneath my hands and knees. Black. It was nothing but inky black viscous liquid. I staggered to my feet and wiped the corners of my mouth and chin with my hand. Panting and breathing hard I stumbled my way over to my folded clothes. My shaking hands grab my Shihakushou… _'It burns. I must untie them immediately… what's on here? Poison? Why does it burn? My chest hurts, it aches it feels like I'm being sliced in half while pierced and hammered repeatedly into a hard surface. I must drop them! My skin burns it aches, smoldering heat coursing through my veins! My head. My throat. My eyes. My mouth. My arms. My hands. My stomach… My heart. My heart. My heart!'_ I fall to the ground screaming loudly, clutching my chest, curled into a fetal position.

Third POV

"My, my. What an annoying baby you are." Kirinji Tenjirou sighed as he led the two Kuchiki to where the teen lay, collapsed and shaking. The teen stared wide eyed at the trio who entered. His screaming was silenced for a brief moment, he blinked at them, eyes not recognizing the three. He tried to crawl away from them before Kirinji stepped on his back, halting his attempt to flee. He yelped and clawed at the ground. "Would you quit your bitching, I ain't gunna hurt you too much. That is if you don't quit your damn screaming!" A vein popped out on his forehead. Chuckling darkly, he popped his fingers menacingly. Ichigo twisted his head back before a window shattering shriek ripped itself from his throat.

"LEAVE ME GET OFF OF ME! HELP ME SOMEONE HELP ME!" Ichigo screamed repeatedly.

"What the fuck?!" Kirinji staggered off and back a few paces before staring at the crazed teen.

"IT BURNS IT BURNS!" Ichigo went back to clutching at his chest, clawing at the skin like something was buried beneath the skin.

"Kirinji! Kuchiki! Get away from him now!" Nimaiya yelled as he ran to the group carrying a bag with what appeared to be a sword handle sticking out the top of the bag. Renji trailed behind as he returned his repaired Zanpactou to its scabbard.

"Why should i?!" Kirinji yelled back at the God of the Sword. "He's freaking out! Plus he won't shut the fuck up and it's bothering the rest of us!" Kirinji plugged his ears with his pinkies embellishing the description of all the commotion.

"That's exactly my point. What I told him earlier about his soul and his Zanpactou is finally setting in. At what a time too, right when I finished crafting his Zanpactou too. His soul separation from his old power base must be excruciating as well as the awakening of his real Zanpactou." Nimaiya said as he untied his hair. "His soul must be going with a rejection period. Get me his human body now, Mera!" he pointed at the bodyguard. "Sato! Make some clothes!"

Sato made a face at him that said: "Do you know how many teeth that would require?" Nimaiya seemed to know what Sato was thinking and waved her off. She shrugged and pulled her bandages down as she ripped several teeth from her top and bottom rows. The teeth immediately grew back after she made some white clothing with long, thin black stripes running in angular patterns down the arms chest and back. When she was finished with her creation she wrestled Ichigo down to the ground before pulling the clothes over his head and up his legs over his waist. Ichigo seemed to calm slightly as his head lolled to the side and his eyes began to slide close, little bit by bit, he slowly calmed down.

"What's going on with him?!" Rukia exclaimed as she tried to sit next to the struggling Ichigo. She reached out for an out stretched arm before it was swatted away by Nimaiya.

"Don't be foolish. If he can't even hold a Shihakusho then you shouldn't touch him. I know what's going on with him… If Mera would hurry her ass up!" Nimaiya growled out as he placed the bag that was slung over his shoulder down on the ground.

"Ouetsu… I can't find Kurosaki's body… I went back to where I put it and there is nothing but…. Well you should know by now what's going on." Mera replied as she clenched her fists. The scene plagued her mind as she stalked off, wiping her eyes and nose as she trotted off, back to her little palace within the realm of the Spirit King.

"Shit… Ichi-chan" Nimaiya crouched down to where Ichigo was still being restricted by Sato, who was straddling his waist. The clothes that he wore shrunk to his skin, becoming skin tight. So tight that they became like a second skin before changing to the opposite color and absorbing into his skin. Nimaiya pulled the bag into his lap before retrieving two swords. One black, the other white. They both had holes running down the lengths of the blades and thin five pointed stars in the holes of the black blade. Neither blade had hilts nor grips other than tightly wrapped strings around the supposed hilt of the two blades. The two were connected by a spirit chain that was black before blending to both red and blue on either side. Nimaiya grouped the two together and made Ichigo grip the blades and pressed his closed hand to his chest. Ichigo's breathing heaved as he continued to gasp for air. "I had a feeling that something like this would happen, so I reconstructed Tensa Zangetsu for you as well as your other Zanpactou… Remember, your blade is only as strong as your devotion towards your own soul. After all they are you." Nimaiya said as he nodded towards the slightly calmed Ichigo. Nodding again he clenched his fist before punching Ichigo square in the face.

Knocking him out. Leaving Ichigo to return to his dream-like memories.

* * *

Alright everyone... I'm somewhat rusty at writing but i know i'll get better with more updates!

remember to write a comment about which comments! if i don't get any i will do them all!

*strangely enough this means "to swing out" like veer or something.

**I'm not sure how Misaki would address Isshin so I just did the most common addressing form for the Japanese... yup nailed it. (i'm so sorry i'm just really tired)

***is the formal way to say aunt in japanese

**** Mann is written like this intentionally because it's german xD

*****I don't actually know what color his eyes are so i just guessed/estimated.

****** This scene contains mature themes and will be in the next chapter... view discretion is advised. nah i'm just playing. BUT THIS IS YOUR WARNING if it is NOT your cup of tea, then skip the scene please.


	2. Lost, Forgotten, Left, Betrayed

**the beginning of the chapter is kinda weird, just sayin'.**

Welcome back to a new chapter of this... what ever this is xD alright let's hop to it! If there are any grammatical errors, please notify me, I will see to it immediately that it is corrected for all those Grammar Nazis out there.

oh and there are some words that I spell in English instead of American because I think that some of the English spellings are better.

This story will have the pairing of the most requested pairing. I will try to do my best with any European language for the language of any requested story of any rating.

**Summary of this story: **This takes place after chapter 540. Ichigo is given his real Zanpactou after finding out that the entity we knew to be (Tensa) Zangetsu, was in fact Juha Bach from 1,000 years past. He leaves the Soul Palace without seeing the Soul King, left without telling the rest of his friends where he was going… But what's this? He begins to see visions of memories he was never supposed to remember… Are they really his? Did they belong to the hollow that Tousen named "Shiro"? Are they the memories of another Quincy? Of one that has not yet passed? Or is it something much darker? Are these some sort of Premonition?

* * *

_Previously..._

_"Shit… Ichi-chan" Nimaiya crouched down to where Ichigo was still being restricted by Sato, who was straddling his waist. The clothes that he wore shrunk to his skin, becoming skin tight. So tight that they became like a second skin before changing to the opposite color and absorbing into his skin. Nimaiya pulled the bag into his lap before retrieving two swords. One black, the other white. They both had holes running down the lengths of the blades and thin five pointed stars in the holes of the black blade. Neither blade had hilts nor grips other than tightly wrapped strings around the supposed hilt of the two blades. The two were connected by a spirit chain that was black before blending to both red and blue on either side. Nimaiya grouped the two together and made Ichigo grip the blades and pressed his closed hand to his chest. Ichigo's breathing heaved as he continued to gasp for air. "I had a feeling that something like this would happen, so I reconstructed Tensa Zangetsu for you as well as your other Zanpactou… Remember, your blade is only as strong as your devotion towards your own soul. After all they are you." Nimaiya said as he nodded towards the slightly calmed Ichigo. Nodding again he clenched his fist before punching Ichigo square in the face._

_Knocking him out. Leaving Ichigo to return to his dream-like memories._

* * *

Mystery POV

_ 'My head is pounding... There's a bad taste in my mouth... like rotten flesh, disgusting... Where am I?' _I keep thinking that same thing to myself as I try to sit up repeatedly. _'Shit, I can't move...'_ I struggled to move for what seemed to be several minutes before I realized that it was impossible. My efforts exhausted, I try to open my eyes, they seem to still be able to open and blink fine... But it's still just inky black darkness. _'__My chest is burning, aching, empty. It feels like I'm hollow inside, like I just don't care anymore. I should be glad that it's just pain, physical pain and not emotional pain anymore, but I can't even feel that,'_ I was tormented for so long about memories of other souls that I began to go insane. When the attacks started I would grip my head, screaming at the top of my lungs ripping and tugging at my horns and hair. Wanting it to stop. Begging for someone to make it stop._ 'I should be grateful to Aizen-sama, but in all honesty I don't even feel that,'_ It was true. Aizen-sama had saved me from the emotions that were plaguing me, but I seemed to even lose the ability to feel anything at all. _'Aizen-sama_,_ after all, took all my pain away, the pain of millions... He took all of that away. He said that as an Arrancar, I shouldn't even be able to remember my past life, much less each and every single soul's memory. He was also able to block the majority of the memories...'_

_'Yet sadly, if I were ever to rebel and attack him... the memories would return and I would go mad once more. But if that is the case, I think that it is also possible that the more loyalty I have towards Aizen-sama, the more memories will drift from my mind. I would be able to forget them. All of them. Aizen-sama, Ichimaru-sama and Tousen-sama made me give up something in return, though, not that I minded it. They made me give up the power of speech and any other forms of communication.' _I look down at my hands. They had slowly become the sharp claws with pointed fingertips that i currently stared at. The once were originally smooth, soft, rounded fingers, knuckles and wrists that I'd be staring at instead of these things. _'That means that I can't even play that new human game, much less speak intelligibly... what was it called? Sha-Sha... Cha-?* Oh well... The humans in the world of the living find it amusing to make fools of themselves by acting out a subject for their audience to guess. I found that would while doing a mission in the world of the living for Aizen-sama. Sadly, even that... immature, insensible thing to do is still out of my grasp.'_

__I flexed my arms and clenched my palms together before forming fists._ ' I can barely hold my weapon... it's not like it matters though, it's been so long since I even held one. My Shinigami soul... the one that is the main basis of this... envisioned form he has for me... I barely remember what his Zanpactou felt like... No, technically it's mine. My Zanpactou. Although most of my souls have had a Zanpactou, whether it be Shinigami or Arrancar.'_ Aizen-sama had spent centuries on gathering souls for his creations such as me. He'd often send his precious Espada to track down problem Arrancar before using their body and souls for his creations._ 'I remember other weapons, even though I only remember them very vaguely. Those weapons from the Quincies and other hollows that didn't have the privilege to receive their own Zanpactou before they were hunted down and killed for my form now... they were in my memories too... every single one of their deaths, their powers, their abilities... I remembered them... until Aizen-sama took that suffering away from me and all of my souls.' _I looked out the window and at the huge crescent shaped moon in the haze of the heat rising off the sand at the distant horizon._  
_

_._

_._

_._

_'I still... don't have a name and Aizen-sama doesn't seem any where near giving me one. I wonder why? It's not like I can ask him though. Hell... Aside from piercing my next meal with my useless hands and eating, I can't even ask or even attempt to suggest that idea to Aizen-sama.'_ I chewed a lump of flesh from the hollow I killed during a raid mission in the eastern desert in Hueco Mundo._ 'My useless hands don't seem to be my only problem now...'_ I thought as I wiped the blood from my lance-like arms and onto my makeshift table spread._ 'Not that it really matters considering that I'm still being restrained on... whatever this thing is... in this dark room for who knows how long... but... I'm starting to lose more and more of my reasoning every day now. With each passing moment I spend near Aizen-sama or one of the other occupants in Las Noches... I seem to be forgetting things more and more often. My body and soul are changing, I know that to be true.' _I hover back towards the main hallway in Las Noches, towards the untouched meeting room. It's strange that I don't need to walk, even though I have legs. I don't even think of that anymore, did I learn this? Was I able to do this from day one?_ 'Should I be concerned? Should I feel worry now? This may become a problem for Aizen-sama in the future if I let this go unnoticed. I don't even remember what I should be doing here... or why, or even how, I got here.' _Pushing the doors to the meeting room open, I stepped inside and let the heavy doors slam shut behind me._  
_

_'Aizen-sama said that it was for testing my strength and resistance to-... to... I have forgotten what he had said now. I know that it doesn't matter, it wouldn't even matter if he didn't even tell me in the first place. All that I know is that I should remain forever loyal to Aizen-sama... no matter what...'  
_

_'No matter what.'_

_._

_._

_._

_'How long has it been?' 'Since I last saw him? Aizen-sama... that is... is it? I'm forgetting... No! I mustn't forget him! He's all that matters... He's all that matters. Even in this dark, dark world... He's my only hope... the only one that I hold any emotion for in this emotionless world. In this crying world. It's dark and cold... dark and cold... dark... and-'_

_._

_._

_._

_'Hungry. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty... I can't move anymore, So much that I can feel my body and soul changing... and I want to get out of this place... I need to feed...'_

_._

_._

_._

_ "My, My... That one doesn't seem to well... Without any new souls in his body, or blood down his throat... He seems to be getting delirious, how strange for a hollow like him," _the smooth yet piercing voice belonging to a silver tongued man echoed off the blackened walls within the cells that I had been restrained in_. "How long has it been, New One, since you gave up everything that you had in order to forget? Oh? What's that? Can't speak?" _A soft chuckle came with the questions.

_"Gin, stop antagonizing justice." _A gruff voice barked at him.

_'What's justice, and who... or what are they talking about?'_

_"Well don't you have a thing for 'justice', Kaname. More like an obsession." _The silver-coated voice retorted_. _

_'That must be Gin and the other must be Kaname. I can't see anything. Where are they?'_

_"You two, stop. We came here to test out the abilities of our strengthened family member." _

_'that voice... I remember it! Aizen-sama! It's Aizen-sama, at last! My lord, you came back for me.'_

_._

_._

_._

_"Now, my precious little Arrancar, you will hunt yourself as many humans as you possibly can... until the timer runs out. Understood?" _Aizen-sama asks me. He knows I can't answer him, but I feel that he does so to make me feel normal.

_'I wonder if he favours me more than the others...'_

_"Good. Now go!" He urges me._

* * *

It's been my several human weeks by now, I suppose and I have done Aizen-sama good by collecting several thousands of pathetic humans... bodies and souls. Their rotting corpses line the walls of one of the meeting halls._ 'He seems proud of them, even though he won't enter the hall... I've always followed him, where or when, he never does enter, he just stops for a second before he walks by,' _I wonder if he has ever seen how many corpses and souls we have collected for him. Should I wonder why he has ordered us to collect as many souls as possible? But I don't, because every time he walks by those doors, I feel as if he has even the smallest pride in what we have done for him. _'I'd follow him to where the earth ends if I had to. And if that turned to sea, I would swim after him. After all... I owe him for something... even though I don't remember what it exactly is that I owe him for,' _I prepare myself for the mission that I have today. I get a reiatsu collar to mask my presence on top of my honed skills. I secure the release ties around my elbow, or the shallow around my arm before it turns into a spear like limb. I use my teeth and horns to pull on some sort of cloaking device around my body before I worm my head into a cap of some-sorts. Aizen-sama said that a man left them in Soul Society around a century ago. I don't know what they're called, or who left them, but they're pretty useful.

_ 'Ugh. My body has formed these spikes for hands over the past half year. Aizen-sama says that it is very intriguing and important to my perfection. He's always going on about my perfection. I wonder why?'  
_

Standing up, I make my way to the portal in the main meeting room, the one where the generals, Espada and Aizen-sama meet.

_"When you return, I will have Szayelaporro Granz develop a simpler means of masking your presence, Young one. I say this because you looked like you were having difficulties with your orders for preparation recently due to your... physique. This trip I want twenty human bodies and souls and the bodies and souls of all the patrolling Shinigami in the area." _I watched Aizen-sama with a bowed head and lowered body as he spoke. Had he told me something different than the last mission? This time he didn't seem happy with my body's _progress_ like he did last time... At least I think.

_"Remember, My Precious Arrancar, Attack only when it rains."_

_._

_'Oh?'_ When I arrived there, in a clearing between the tall grey towers, some higher reiatsu levels caught my attention. Directing my attention towards them, I spot a small grouping of people._ 'There are some Shinigami... Are these the Shinigami that are patrolling today?'_ Looking closer, I see that I am incorrect in this assumption. There is a taichou in the group. Is he giving them instructions?_ 'He looks young, even though I can't really tell, what a pity... I'm sure his pretty, spiky, jet-black hair and that squad ten uniform would look marvelous in the meeting hall amongst the rest of those rotting corpses.'_ My skin beneath my mask is tingling again... Am I smiling? It hurts. I watch them, waiting for it to rain like Aizen-sama told me to do. They break up soon after and I follow the taichou, knowing that he would prove to be the most of a challenge. The young taichou raised his reiatsu levels to which I suppose are the max in his unreleased state. The increased pressure causes clouds to form and rain to fall. Just the opportunity that I was waiting for!

_'He thinks that he's creating a diversion by drawing me out to him... Attacking him is better than those little squad members in his book, right? Sorry little taichou. I'm going to kill them first'_ I used sonido to move to the location of the two feeble Shinigami hiding under the thin tin roof. They're barely able to stand underneath this... inadequate amount of reiatsu. How pitiful. I ended their existence by using these spikes to slice the tops of their heads off. Haha, like butter. _'I think that he has realized by their deaths now that I don't give a shit about a large amount of reiatsu... and that they have a target on their backs.'_ I was watching his reaction the whole time as I killed his little subordinates. _'It doesn't seem like they were direct though, considering he has no other reaction than an "oh shit" one and not a "NOOOOO, NOT MARU-TAN" or something like that.' _I remove my limiters and the cloaking devices._  
_

_"Dammit! He doesn't care about the magnitude of someone's reiatsu!" _I can hear him scream as he races over to the spot I have already left, the spot where I left those bloody corpses lying on the ground. But I have already left there, and have landed on the top of an almost collapsing building, right behind him. He slowly turns around to face me.

_"What the fuck are you?!"_ He barely manages to let that small utterance escape his lips as I was about to turn to face him. If I could speak I would have replied with a 'bitch I'm fabulous', but sadly I can't talk. _"What is... he? A black hollow?" _Either he is extremely rude and decides to talk about people behind their backs. Literally. Or he's crazy and likes to talk to himself.

I turn to face him. I hiss lightly in warning. _'__The reason? I have no idea why. He seems either brave or stupid for not cowering in fear or not even flinching. Okay so how about I scream?' _I do just that and raise my reiatsu halfway to its limit. That finally frightens him. He tightly grips his Zanpactou and I can see him trembling slightly. Fear. I love that in prey.

_"I see... It's all black and the hollow hole has been filled up with something. But this reiatsu is no doubt that of a hollow's." _He murmurs to himself. Yup he's crazy and likes to talk to himself. _'Well no shit, idiot. It's totally not obvious.' _I think sarcastically in retort to his idiocy. It seems that all Shinigami in the World of the Living are this stupid. I lunge at him, cutting off any other things he has to say to himself. He blocks my attack and counter attacks. His attack gets a little too close to my mask for comfort. I can't have anymore of that, so I begin to attack him repeatedly in quick succession, attack after attack. I've trained with Aizen-sama and Gin too many times not to be quick on my feet. I've been trained, by some of the strongest Shinigami. So when I look into his eyes and see confusion, I'm not surprised. I can tell that he's questioning my fighting techniques... for being to similar to that of a Shinigami. _"I see this is one tough son of a bitch!" _He exclaims before I roundhouse kick him to the side. It seems that he hasn't lost footing yet as he drags his hand through the invisible reiatsu platform he created in order to fight me in mid-air.

_"SHIBA-TAICHOU?!" _I hear screams coming from the side. _'They addressed him as taichou... More Shinigami!' _I can feel my excitement rising. _"What are you doing here Shiba-Taicho?! This area is under jurisdiction of the Thirteenth squad!" _A small Shinigami is running to meet the captain. I can see panic in his eyes. I can tell he's about to tell the Shinigami to turn back and hide... But I can't have that. I quickly attack him again, directing his attention back towards me, and aim a cero at the Shinigami from the thirteenth squad.

_"Shit! RUN!" _He was able to deflect my attack enough to turn and scream that at the poor Shinigami. But it's too late. I've fired it. _"Did he just fire a cero?!" _He wipes blood, sweat and rain from his chin. _'No, I just fired a bunch of pixie dust and cocaine. Yes that was a fucking cero, dipshit.' _I can feel him preparing to attack me once more. Finally at least this gets somewhat interesting! _"This is bullshit... That is no hollow... I've never seen a menos with that fighting capability!" _He charges up behind me, sword raised and prepared to strike. He should have realized that he is too slow to actually land a blow on me though. I block it with relatively ease. He presses his sword against my arm, but doesn't move much after that.

_"Pardon me. But a monster like you wouldn't be able to run wild and loose all the while slipping underneath the Soul Society's radar. Someone is covering for your ass and I want to know who." _He demands me.

_'Why is he trying to start a conversation with me? It's not like I can even answer, I wouldn't anyway, that would give Aizen-sama away and I don't want that. However a piece of shit from the Gontei 13 calling me a monster is uncalled for and hypocritical.' _I launch myself at him.

_"Not much of the conversationalist are you? Oh well... Doesn't matter... You'll be burned to a crisp in a second." _He adapts a very ridged stance_. 'Oh I really wish I could tell him that I have the strongest Hierro in all of the Arrancar army that's serving for Aizen-sama. Now he's building up his reiatsu... for a lame-ass incantation for his lane-ass Zanpactou._ Great.' The taichou adapts a ridged stance and prepares to release his shikai as he screams_ "MOERU, ENGETSU!" _he charges me before he is cut down by another blade from behind. _'Aizen-sama! What is Aizen-sama doing here?!' 'Does he feel as if I'm not strong enough to take one measly Shinigami?! Aizen-sama is talking about the cloaks... and thanks a man by the name of Urahara Kisuke? Is he the man who left those cloaking devices?'_

_"Who are you?! Come out and show yourself, coward!" _Shiba-taichou yells out in the direction he was cut from. _'That shitty Shinigami dared to call my master a coward?! I'll kill him! I'LL KILL HIM!' _I felt my rage boil within my soul as a prepared to lop off the fool's head, yet I was stopped when Aizen-sama began to speak again with Gin this time.

_"My, my. That ain't gunna fool 'im. He knows it ain't no hollow tha' did tha'." _Gin said as he watched the taichou scream at the heavens more. A sickening smirk crossed his face as I saw those crystal blue eyes open and peer at the fight we were participating in.

_"So it seems." _Aizen-sama turned and faced the garganta again._ "We're done here."_

_"You sure? He could-" _Gin began again but was interrupted by Aizen-sama_._

_"I'm quite familiar with his bankai and a would of that magnitude would risk him having his body crumble underneath the strain." _Aizen-sama briefly glanced down at the taichou that was stumbling over himself because of his wound._ "If a taichou can defeat our guinea pig with a mere shikai that means that we have to go back to the drawing board." _I'm a little shocked by that statement, but i refuse to acknowledge it._ 'Aizen-sama called me a guinea pig... how rude. Hmm... Oh well.'_

_"Calling it a guinea pig is quite the disservice." _Kaname said smoothly._  
_

_'But that bastard Kaname stood up for me! UGH THAT SHIT HEAD!'_

_"He's nothing like the other hollows we have created thus far, please call him Shiro." _Kaname continued without even noticing my sudden change in aura.

_'Kaname... gave me a name? Shiro? Aizen-sama finds that amusing... Is Kaname mocking me? That bastard! How dare he mock Aizen-sama in such a way?! After all, Aizen-sama made me with a vision in mind, I'm special! I'm special!' _I practically scream over and over again in my thoughts, denying anything else to be real.

_"After all, he is the first one that we have created successfully out of a Shinigami soul and body as a base" _Kaname continued on and on.  
_'_

_How dare he! ... I can't attack him though, that would be showing disloyalty towards Aizen-sama... Instead I'll direct my anger at that stupid, foolish piece of shit.' _My blood was boiling and I could feel more and more of the souls' control slipping through.

_"Indeed. Forgive my rudeness, Kaname" _Aizen-sama replied_. 'NO! Don't apologize to that asshole that questions you authority!' _I scream at Aizen-sama in my head once more._ "Still naming him Shiro, despite his black exterior, just because of it's actions and purpose... is quite ironic. It brings a smile to my face."_ Aizen-sama chuckled softly at that._ 'T____hat made Aizen-sama smile... good.' _I go back to attack the shitty taichou. One hit against his sword immobilizing him. Another to land another hit. But I was distracted by the wound on his back splitting open more. _'Ah fuck that moment of lapsed concentration made it easy for the Shinigami to pin me down. Sorry shitty captain, it's not going to be that easy.' _He draws out more flames to block my attack from underneath him. He glanced at his shoulder, distracted by the pain. I attack again, screaming in frustration as I barrage him with my spikes. A hit was blocked that he felt was a little too close for comfort. He jumped back in an attempt to flee from me. But I won't have that, I leaped up faster than the speed of sound. Breaking the sound barrier, he curses me. '_He even seems distracted. I'm loosing my touch. ... A... And he just called me a freak! What the hell?!'_ I think before he swipes his hand over the blood in his wound. _'What the HELL! HE JUST DRANK HIS OWN FUCKING BLOOD FOR FUCK'S SAKE AND HE CALLS ME A FREAK?!' _He drank some of the blood before spitting it back as fire at his blade for a temporary barrier between me and him._ 'That's not what it's for?!' _He slashes the air, sending the large flame wall at me._'What the fuck?! Shit!' _Smoke rises between me and him as I was struck with the burst of flames._  
_

_'What ever he did... He succeeded in cutting one of my arms off... shit.'_ My eyes followed to where my arm landed. A girl with orange hair. No matter, she's weak anyway. I direct my attention back to the taichou that I am fighting. _'That little bitch cut off my arm!'_ I kicked him back to the street below with so much force that the impact caused a descent sized crater where his body laid. He pushes some of the rubble and boulders off of him.

_"Heh... still formidable with only one arm. I'm beginning to like you."_ He grins as he wipes the blood, sweat, rain and now mud from his chin yet again.  
_'I don't give a shit if you say you're beginning to like me, get that through your head!'_ I attack him again with more force each swing. Each hit I land on that shitty Zanpactou has enough force to crack the streets below his feet. Again and again. He grunts and it's not interesting anymore. I charge a cero at point blank range. I can feel his fear radiating off of him. It's delicious. '_Shit- Need to dodge!'_ I cancel my cero and sonido slightly to the side, watching as I barely dodge an arrow aimed right at my head misses me by a dozen or so centimetres from my mask.

I'm too busy being distracted and only am I pulled from my trance when the taichou whispers _"Who is that girl?"_ I whip my head into the direction in which the arrow was fired. _'A Quincy bitch?! Of all things that decide to fuck with me at a moment like this- in front of my Aizen-sama- it has to be a fucking Quincy bitch.'_ I can feel disgust rising in my throat. _'That weak girl is a Quincy?!' _I can hear Kaname saying that he will deal with he immediately but Aizen-sama stops him. He has developed an interest of the girl. _'Does that mean I can't kill her?! Fuck it! I don't give a shit! I'm going to fucking kill that whore who dared to fire an arrow at my precious mask!' _I leaped after the girl. The taichou couldn't follow me and protect the girl after breaking his leg. The girl started to fire several arrows towards me. Easy. I dodged them with sonido, I even burned some of them off with the sheer force of my charge. '_Dodging is child's play for me.'_ She stopped her assault and extended her arm towards me. _'Oh- you're extending your arm? Well fuck you I'll just rip that right off with my teeth!' _I sunk my teeth into her shoulder and tried to pull but was stopped when she...

_"I. Got. You." _She sang lightly before firing a point-blank ranged arrow right at my mask. I heard it cracking. My precious mask. Cracking.

_'Fuck,'_ I can feel my mask crack and chip away._ 'I can't face Aizen-sama in this shame-'_ My thoughts are interrupted when I feel myself being drawn into that weak bitch._ 'What the hell... I'm being drawn in!'_ I try to fight the force, but I can't. _'I'm being drawn into that stupid fucking girl! My soul! My soul's being ripped out from my body! Must kill that stupid gir-' _

And I was no more.

* * *

_**やった! (done!)**_

"Shiro"'s personality was meant to change as the chapter progressed, showing not only frustration with the situation but also a blurring in all of his souls. I will use this as a bridge between the hollow "Shiro" and the Zangetsu "Shiro". Oh yea well fuck giant spoiler there. He's actually really his Zanpactou... like no one ever saw that before xD.

Here we go Chapter 2 of this shitty ass... what the fuck ever this is, is finally over see ya next chapter.

**Thank you come again**

* * *

.


	3. Premonitions

Hi There. Chapter Three. I got an idea for another fanfic that I'll post soon. It'll be a one shot. A long Oneshot mind you.

I want to say Thank you so much to **Hollowshirosaki413** for the review! I will try and make the spacing better c:. Have any other comments, questions or concerns?

SO here it is. Chapter Three. Not like anyone really cares though.

Um here... I guess we have an slight whatever this turns out to be... probably will be the only chapter of it though. I will move on to different parings!

**this chapter contains mature hentai content between Ichigo and Rukia. If you like it you can ask for more. Don't like it you can skip it.**

* * *

_Previously_

_"I. Got. You." _She sang lightly before firing a point-blank ranged arrow right at my mask. I heard it cracking. My precious mask. Cracking.

_'Fuck,'_ I can feel my mask crack and chip away._ 'I can't face Aizen-sama in this shame-'_ My thoughts are interrupted when I feel myself being drawn into that weak bitch._ 'What the hell... I'm being drawn in!'_ I try to fight the force, but I can't. _'I'm being drawn into that stupid fucking girl! My soul! My soul's being ripped out from my body! Must kill that stupid gir-' _

And I was no more.

* * *

Ichigo's POV

My eyes shot open as I bolted upwards. I was drenched in a cold sweat as the last tails of the dream processed in my mind. My head started to pound as I gasped out harsh breaths.

"Ichigo?" A soft voice resonated through the small space that I laid in. "Are you alright?" Rukia asked as she entered the small room with a bucket of water and a towel over her shoulder. Concern laced her face as she hesitated in her venture near me.

"Ye," I tried to reply but it came out as a broken, sickly sound. I cleared my throat before trying to reply again. "Yeah... I just had another nightmare. I don't have them very often, you know that, so I was just... shocked by it. That's all." I finished my thought, not daring to look her in the eye. Not daring to tell her that I was afraid. Scared. Fearful. Fearful of myself. What I've done, or what's happening to me now. Those memories aren't mine, they shouldn't be, but I live through them in my dreams like they are mine. I can't explain any of this, not even to myself. So how am I supposed to tell her that I'm having dreams of people who are dead... Some of them are just creatures though. I shouldn't say that, though. This most recent one... He felt like a conscious being, like he existed. "Is there anyway that I can ask... someone, _anyone,_ what's going on right now?" I asked Rukia as she sighed and began to walk closer to me. She set down the wooden bucket and dipped the towel into the bucket of water.

"No, not that I know of, Ichigo. Do you remember what happened to you recently?" she asked me. She wrung out the towel before dabbing it on my face.

"No... Why are you don't that?" I asked as she dabbed lighter on some parts of my forehead than the rest of my face. "How did I get here?" I winced as she wiped the towel across my brow bone.

"Toushin-sama* knocked you out after... a bout of madness." Rukia's voice went cold as she stopped dabbing the towel on my forehead, frozen in place.

"Toushin? Who the hell is that?" I brought my hand up to my face to feel the area which stung. It was just bruised. Bringing my hand back, I grazed my nose and hissed in pain.

"Be careful, Ichigo, Nimaiya Ouetsu. You know, the guy who repaired Zangetsu for you? Do you have mild amnesia? You know the guy with the shaved and dyed head with an afro on top? He sorta broke your nose as well... Um, you know- The guy in the tiny sh- How about I just draw a picture for you..." She said without giving me time to answer or object to her crappy drawing skills.

"I-" I tried to intervene in her task of drawing Nimaiya in Chappy form, but she was humming as she scribbled onto the sketchbook she might as well have pulled out of her ass. I sighed and let her continue drawing as I sat up more. I traced my fingers over the bridge of my nose, feeling the broken bones. _'Damn, that guy has one hell of a right hook... or left hook. Or foot. I don't remember what happened at all... So I don't even know how he knocked me out. I should probably fix it though so I can breathe out of my nose. I'm starting to sound like a creeper, breathing harshly and panting like I'm watching someone through a peep hole.'_ I paused after gripping my nose in my palm between my thumb and fingers. _'Yeah, that didn't sound creepy at ALL, Ichigo.' _I rolled my eyes before taking a deep breath and ripped my nose to the right then left. The sickening sound cracking and popping bones echoed off the dark walls of the room. I winced a little and my eyes watered when I was finally done. I breathed in a shaky lung full of air through my nose before slowly letting it out back through my nose. It burned and smelled heavily of the copper-like smell of blood. My eyes pounded in their sockets. I pressed my palms into them, trying to stop the ache, before trailing my hands down to press against my cheeks. I felt warm liquid drip past my open lips. Blood. _'Great. I gave myself a nose bleed.' _I licked at the blood that made its way to my lips. I was disgusted when I felt my mouth water and I felt the need for more. I grabbed to towel to dab at my nose and eventually stop the bleeding when I felt a sharp, stab-like pain in my ears. Tracing my fingers around my ears I felt more liquid drip from them. _'What the fuck?'_ I leant forward and held the rag to my nose. I knew I should have pinched it, but it's broken, I'm not touching it.

"This guy?" Rukia asked me as she turned the sketch book before sitting on the ground next to my futon. I could feel an angry blood vessel pulse in my forehead.

"I camb ebem tew whubdt bda phokk bdat izz" I tried to say underneath the towel and with a bloody, broken nose.

"I, I don't understand that." She smirked as she held the sketch book closer to my face. "Take another look, maybe you haven't remembered yet."

I removed the towel and took in a slow breath. "YOUR DRAWING SKILLS SUCK AND OF COURSE I REMEMBER WHO THAT AFRO NINJA IS." I practically yelled back. I sighed and turned my face away from her general direction.

"Hmph!" She apathetically responded to my insult. Closing the sketch book and letting out a sigh. "YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY DRAWING SKILLS!" She threw the sketch book right at my face. The book hit me square in the face.

"Ow, why you little b-" I curled my fist, about to shake it at her. "Rukia, what's wrong?" I noticed the small tremors in her eyes. She immediately looked another way and crossed her arms over her small chest. "Rukia?"

"Ichigo... What happened back there?" Rukia asked with complete seriousness, all other emotions besides concern and a small trace of wariness and fear.

"What happened back where?" I asked, taking deep breaths from the blood soaked towel. I didn't even notice that I'd returned it to my face and started smelling it like it was a junkie's last chance to get high. _'What the fuck is wrong with me?' _I thought throwing the towel back into the bucket of water.

"Ichigo, don't act like you don't know. You started panicking- Toushin-sama said something about the truth about your Zanpactou and your heritage finally setting in and- Ichigo... you were running around like a mad man. You're body has gone missing and... I don't know what to do. When you touched your Shihakushou, you screamed as if it was hurting you. We couldn't even get another one on your naked ass, so... you're still... um... naked... underneath the blanket." Rukia said through shaky breaths, still not making my gaze. "You had burn marks on your hands and other places where the Shihakushou touched, but not where the water from the White Bone Hell spring touched." Rukia decided that it would be better to stare at the bucket of bloodied water than to face me as she spoke. Did she fear what would happen to me? Did she fear _me_?

"Listen, Rukia. I've just been-" I try to convince her with a lie but she interrupts me.

"Cut the bullshit, Ichigo, I know that's not true." She spouts out as she glares, knowing that I was about to lie to her. "Tell me the truth. You trust me don't you?" Rukia stared at me with me her big, violet eyes.

"Yeah, of course I do. I just..." I sighed running my hands through my hair, scratching my scalp. "I can't tell you. I'll tell you when... everything's over." I sighed again before leaning back into my futon and pulling the sheets up.

"Fine, Ichigo. I'll leave and change the water..." Rukia stood and picked up the water with the rag laced with my blood in it. "But when I come back, I want you to explain to me what exactly is going on with you."

I watched her leave, feeling like a coward. I chose to be a coward, and by choosing I rolled over and pulled the sheets over my shoulders and fell asleep, not even caring as to what time it was or day.

* * *

_Memories._

_"Hahaha!" I ran around the abandoned park with my mother after karate practice. It was my first day at the new Doujou near where we live. "Kaa-chan! Kaa-chan! Hahaha! You're the best Kaa-chan! Du bist den Besten, Mutti! Haha Besten! Besten! Mutti! Mutti!" I smiled as I grabbed her hand and she took my other hand laughing with me. "Ich liebe dich! Ich liebe dich so sehr!" I held onto her hands as she laughed along and began to spin me in the air around her. _

_"Very good, Ichigo, you're German has gotten very good. Sehr gut!" Kaa-chan laughed as she pulled me closer and spun faster. "Hmm?" Kaa-chan's smile faded, she opened her eyes, studying my face. I stopped laughing as well. "Ichigo, was ist los?" Kaa-chan asked me in German._

_"Mutti, h__ast du jemals jemanden geliebt? Vor Oyaji?" I asked her, I could tell that they didn't act like the normal married couple. "Hast du auch ihn geheiratet?" I asked as she wrapped her arms around my torso and cradled me. I rested my head against her slightly boney shoulder, but I didn't mind, she was my one and only Kaa-chan. _

_She didn't answer me. I didn't expect her to. I laughed and hugged her tight before leaning back in her arms. "Kaa-chan, Ryuu-ji-chan is coming here!" I could sense my uncle making his way over to the park. I could even tell even the slightest movement that he made. His hands in his pockets, one on a pack of cigarettes, the other on his favourite lighter. Kaa-chan asked him not to smoke any where near her or me and even asked that he stop, but I know that he hasn't. I don't think he knows that I know and I know that Kaa-chan doesn't know that he's still smoking. It's okay though, because he doesn't smoke near Drachen-chan, I won't tell Kaa-chan. Kaa-chan said that I shouldn't feel sorry for him even though he is the child of a Gemischt, who has gotten sick and lost her powers, and a Echt, who never fights. __Großonkel has begun to train Drachen-chan as an Echt Quincy... even though he's a Gemischt. Maybe it comes with having an Enkel. _

_"Ich sehe." Kaa-chan said she set me back on the ground and dusted off her skirt. She pulled her hair to the side and tied it into a ponytail. "He's still smoking?" She asked me as she grabbed my hand and led me to the swing sets. She picked me up and set me in one of the swings. Pushing me lightly on the swings._

_"Tja." I snorted and laughed madly afterwards. _

_"Du lügst." She said as she pushed me a little bit harder so that I could swing higher when I giggled and demanded that I be swung higher._

_"Masaki." Ryuu-ji-chan stated tonelessly as he made his way out of the woods and into the clearing that the park was in. "Why aren't you training Ichigo to be a soldier like the rest of the echte Kinder?" He said with even more monotone than before._

**_"Because I don't want him being a soldier. I don't even want him to pick up a__ weapon." _**

_"By the way, Vatti is here." I stated in a sing-song type voice. "He even watched me practice karate at the Doujou today after Kaa-chan left." I picked up a stick and started to draw in the sand, waves on top of waves. I don't know what they mean but I've been having dreams of this dragon like hollow that killed and killed more and more people, but the dream always ends with a thunderstorm raining heavily on a dark, empty ocean. Not to get the main character of this dream confused with Drachen-chan, Drachen-chan can barely lift a piece of paper without getting a paper cut.  
_

**_"Very good, Ichigo, you've been improving so well... Even though you are just five years old."_**_ Vater smiled at me as he pulled off his long black coat. He motioned for me to walk to him. I got up and dropped the stick. I lifted my arms when he was about to pick me up, he stopped for a second before smiling and picked me up. Putting me on his shoulders and wrapping the cloak around me he continued. **"Is your mother telling you how to do all these new things?"** Vater asked me as I laced my fingers into his long black hair.  
_

_"No, Vatti. Kaa-chan isn't teaching me anything. Although I think she's scared that I'll get picked on because of my orange hair so she put me in a Doujou with some other Dreck like she was when she was little. So I can develop social skills and protect myself if need be." I said as I smiled cheerfully and leant forward to see his face. Placing a hand on top of his head. "But I'm different! I have Zan-chan* to protect me! Isn't that right, Vatti?" I smiled cheekily and his smile faltered for a second before he laughed whole heartedly._

_"Ichigo! How did you know that! Who told you that!" Kaa-chan almost screeched out at me. _

_"Kaa-chan, you've never told that to anyone." I told her with a completely straight face. I ran my fingers through Vatti's hair as I watch her face run from an embarrassed, angry gaze to a shocked expression. I went back to playing with Vatti's hair. _

**_"Masaki, it's alright. This boy is a genius. He has the eyes. I haven't seen a Quincy with the eyes in centuries." _**_Vatti raised a hand to silence Kaa-chan's response. **"It is an honour, Misaki. It means that he will be safe when the Ausscheren is carried out." **Vatti said.  
_

_"That's good. I don't want one of the powerless Mad Hatter's servants coming after me in four years." I laughed and Vatti tensed underneath my touch. _

_"Ichigo! I told you not to go into the basement library and read those books!" Kaa-chan yelled at me, she looked stressed. _

_"Masaki... I don't know what that has to deal with anything because you gave me your only copy of the Book of Studies seven years ago. In case you're wondering, I burned it when you left the mansion. There are no more copies of that book." Ryuu-ji-chan spoke shakily as he never took his eyes off of me. _

_"You burned it because it's tradition for house hold heads to get rid of any evidence no less than nine years from the next Ausscheren. It is also taboo for any Gemischt to know of anything involving their demise in four years." I said as Vatti turned his head to look up at me. I smiled and leant forward again. "But I'm Tote. I'm a Hollow and a Shinigami yet still a Echt Quincy. You know this, you fear me. That's why you're keeping my powers from me Zan-chan. You know that if I remember that exact moment in which you take my mother from me... I will kill you _myself_."_ _I whispered in his ear before giggling and leaning backwards. I drummed my hands on the top of his head and laughed. "Isn't that a funny joke, right Vatti?" I smiled before looking at him right in the eye. I saw a twinge of pride, wonder and admiration before his eyes went back to their cold, emotionless glaze. Those eyes... They seem familiar, like I owe him something for something I can't even remember. But I know I don't. _

_He straightened his head and noticed the concerned stares he received from Kaa-chan and Ryuu-ji-chan. He forced a laugh. **"Yes, Ichichen, that's a wonderful joke."** He convinced Kaa-chan and Ryuu-ji-chan, but I know exactly what he's thinking. I've always known. The question is... If I will remember._

_If I do. This is not a dream. This is real. A memory. _

_This and all the other dreams. Are memories. Very important memories._

_Not fantasy._

_But a real memory. _

_All I have to do is remember. _

_Remember._

_Remember._

* * *

Ichigo POV

My eyes snapped open and scanned the room. I made no other movements as I felt other presences in the room with me, scattered around the room. I didn't make any suspicious movements that would alert the other occupants that I was awake and fully aware. I relaxed myself as much as possible and breathed deeply, mimicking a snore once and a while. Rukia would always complain that I snored and therefore, took away from her beauty sleep.

"Ah, that's good, he's sleeping deeply now," I heard Rukia, she was the one who was the greatest distance from my prone form. "He always snores like that whenever the nightmares stop." I could practically hear the soft smile she wore in relief. She was worrying about me again.

"Did you just sit there and listen to him sleep at night or something?" Renji asked her. He seemed to be leaning against the blocked windowsill. "If you did... That's really creepy." He said. I could feel his gaze trail over me, lingering on my left cheek bone. I'm glad that he couldn't see my eyes, even more so that now my eyes were open.

"Technically you both had that duty at one point. During the observation and parole period when Kurosaki Ichigo first lost his powers until the time where he battled Ginjou that final time... The two of you were designated to observe him through the badge. It's even luckier that he stuck to it like glue and took it with him every where or else one of you would have had to sleep in his closet and spend every waking hour... watching him. The former Soitaichou gave specific instructions to Ukitake-taichou of what measurements and parameters as to the limitation of the actions preformed by Kurosaki. However, the Soitaichou never revealed as to why he had such suspicions towards Kurosaki, for he has shown very admirable talents and traits." Byakuya droned on, lecturing them right in the middle of the two of them. He sat on a cushion near and facing me. "You were also ordered not to report any of the information you recovered to anyone other than the Soitaichou himself, correct?"

"Yes, nii-sama." Rukia answered almost immediately with the utmost respect she could ever give to her acting brother.

"Of course, Taichou, you were there when we received the direct orders form Yamamoto-soitaichou." Renji said, still watching my face.

"I want you to divulge that information with me immediately. Do not leave this room or even that very spot in which you stand until I know every single detail of your observations." Byakuya ordered the two.

I didn't want to listen. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. I want to interrupt them but I feel as though I must know... how they really feel about me.

I bolted upright again and panted as hard as I can. My head is pounding again. I claw at my eyes and scream, trying to rip my skin off. Hate. Disappointment. Detest. Sorrow. Shock. My eyes they burn. Faces. I can see hundreds... Frozen in shock. I see from their eyes. Vatt- _No!_ **_Juha_ _Bach_ **standing on a podium. Announcing to them all. I can see through their eyes. From every angle. I can see.

_'Sterne Ritter. There is something that I must say to you. Walk.' Heika commands someone to the side of the podium. A strange man. He seems vaguely familiar, yet completely strange. _

_'Who is this man on the podium with Heika?!' I yelled out with the rest of my brothers and sisters. I will not have this! _

_'Ishida Uryu, the last Quincy alive in this world. I have named him as my successor.' Heika finishes the introduction._

_My eyes hurt- My long hair is standing on end- My face it burns- It's cold- I feel abandoned- My sharp teeth ripped my lip. Emotions they're swelling in me. Everything and everyone doesn't exist. Hatred is all there is. _

"I'M GOING TO BE SICK!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Rukia dashes forward with the bucket of water, shoving it in my face. I rip the bucket from her hands as my stomach's contents empty themselves into the bucket. More visions from tear themselves in front of my eyes. Every single Sternrittter... is still alive. They are all... well an- I heave into the bucket once more. Thick, viscous black liquid seeps from my mouth and into the bucket. I sob in pain.

Rukia tries to help me, frantically she tries her best to stop my fit. Byakuya heads for the doorway and begins to scream. Renji hasn't moved an inch and is instead staring at me intently.

"_Fuck!"_ I hissed out, gasping for breath, I furiously wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "Renji..." I croaked out.

"What?" He asked gruffly.

"Get off your lazy ass and get me Zangetsu NOW!" I barked at him in an extremely harsh tone, finally raising my head to glare at him. All three of our eyes widened. "Shit!" I cursed.

Renji scurried out of the room immediately in order to get Zangetsu for me.

"Ichigo... you're voice. It changed..." Rukia stopped moving to help me as I staggered to a stand. Her voice was laced in petrified fear. "What is going on?!" She screeched at me.

I avoided her question, not knowing the answer myself. Blood dripped from my mouth, wiping away the trail I staggered out of the room and into the hallway after Renji. _'My voice just then... It was Tensa Zangetsu... No... it was Juha Bach's voice from long, long ago. What is happening to me?!' _I began to sprint down the hallway after Renji when Rukia began to chase after me.

"Ichigo!" Rukia screamed at the top of her lungs, high and shrill.

"Kurosaki Ichigo!" Byakuya called after me, following after his sister. Shutara Senjumaru, Oshou, Kirinji Tenjirou, Nimaiya Ouetsu and a skinny Hikifune Kirio followed closely behind.

My feet began to grow cold and numb, as if it were lacking blood, like I had been sitting wrong and my legs fell asleep. Pins and needles soon followed and my skin tingled. Blood. If only my blood wasn't fucked up at a time like this. Am I going to pass out? Am I going to die?

I concentrated on my blood flow going to the rest of my body, not that it would matter considering that wouldn't help anything. The Ouzokutokumu didn't seem like they were making that much of an effort to catch up to me and I can feel their emotions. '_Annoyance. I can tell that they're waiting for me to Shunpou... or even another form of Houhou... they are toying with me... they find it amusing! They can see Shunpou movements just as I can... so if they can see where I'm going and what I'm doing... I have to out smart them... because they still don't know what I'm doing.'_

I gathered all of my energy to my skin, leaving a void within the inside of my soul. Loosening my control over my energy, letting it disappear from senses once again. _'If I can use Blut... might as well make it useful.' _I thought. The Ouzokutokumu began to pick up their pace, they could sense that something was happening, but I don't think that they know what it means. By judging on the changes in their emotions... they think that I'm about to die...

_'Too late now.' _I thought as the atoms of my soul snapped back into alignment and I moved to where Renji was through a rift in space. He had just turned back around with only one of Zangetsu and not both. _'My flesh is burning. My lips, they sting.' _I lost my train of thought, abandoning my morals and what I believed to be right. I slammed Renji into the cave wall and ripped the longer blade from his grasp. Diving for the shorter one, I used the same technique and I was in the Reioudaidairi.

* * *

**"Kurosaki**** Ichigo."** A booming voice radiated to my ears but did not echo in the huge hall. **"You are here earlier than expected."**

I didn't bow. I didn't lower my head. Instead, I stared straight into his eyes. "Are the Tote real?" I asked, fearing that it might actually be reality.

**"You already fear the truth. You knew the truth. It's time that you remembered, Young One."** He answered. My stomach dropped to the pit of my abdomen. I felt disgusted. **"****Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni... He taught the Shinigami. He fed them information. Information that all Shinigami know. But I ask you this. Why do Shinigami and Quincy**** exist?"** The Reiou asked me. I had no answer for him and said nothing. **"They exist because of hollows. I know you already know that. You already knew not to answer with that answer becaus-"**

"It was too simple." I finished his statement still refusing to break eye contact with him.

**"That is true. Hollows can grow and change. They become Menos... then Gillian... then Adjuchas... then Vasto Lorde... That is what you know to be a fact though. In the same way, humans become souls... then develop reiatsu... then they may become Shinigami... then they get stronger and stronger... they may eventually be apart of my guard squad. Arrancars aren't another level to hollows and are in fact the hollow equivalent to a Shinigami that had undergone Hollowification. You also didn't say this as an answer to my question, suggesting tha-"**

"I found it to be irrelevant yet they are rare... Most Shinigami didn't even know that they existed. That suggests that the reason why we fight the way we do and when we do is not as it seems. That's why I'm here, isn't it? ISN'T IT ?!" I could feel my frustration building. Ishida knew where our group was... and I don't trust him anymore.

**"You are also correct."**Reiou stated again. **"That is to say that it doesn't end with Vasto Lorde. There is another level beyond that. This level is extremely rare. There are only two in all of existence now. Before there was only one."**I felt curiosity squeeze through the annoyance. Where are those beings? When will they be a threat? Are there more? He seemed to sense my curiosity, he answered them without having me ask them. **"The number has increased in the last twenty years. They aren't the enemy of Seireitei, and I feel that they never will. There are only two. They're separated by forty thousand years... and they're in this very room." **Reiou said calmly. It took me seconds... maybe minutes... maybe hours. Days... Years. To process that information. That's what it felt like. Sickening. Disgusted.**  
**

"Wha-" My eyes widened as I stared up in shock at the Reiou. "What... are you say...ing?" I barely whispered.

**"I'm saying that you and I are Difunto."**The Reiou said simply. **"You should remember, Young One. Your little Dragon has already taken the responsibility of being the successor to Juha Bach... You must already know what it is I have to say to you."**Reiou stepped off of the podium. **"My guards don't know that there is no Royal Family and that they are only here to make sure I don't escape and kill everyone. They never knew their real mission. With this, I rid them of their missions. I give to you the restraints that transmit your will... transmits it to every single soul willing to receive your power... the power of life."**

"Why?" I asked as he slipped restraints off of his wrists. "Why are you doing this?" I finished my question with my fists clenched around the bracelets. "How-"

**"Long ago. I ordered Souls in the Seiretei and Rukongai to attack any of the evil spirits that would eventually become hollows. I ordered them to do this no matter of who the person being killed was. Naturally the two groups developed their own way of dealing with the hollows... but eventually they couldn't see eye to eye... They began to fight. This is the start of the Quincy Shinigami wars over the past thousand years. The Shinigami were from the Seireitei and the Quincy were the ones from the Rokongai. Early on, the two sides could battle for long lengths of time without break or rest. Monsters, they were. After centuries and centuries of continuous battle between the two sides, they began to weaken and change. One eventually expelled the other from this world and into another. That other world significantly weakened the former dwellers of the Rukongai, they eventually were unable to make a bridge between the worlds. With their major threat unable to challenge them, the Seireitei dwellers expanded their territory and began to live in the Rukongai instead. Without the continuous threat of battle and war, the dwellers of the Seireitei, too, became weaker and detached from their instincts."**Reiou continued on his 'epic' lecture as I began to lose focus. Not really interested in all of the details of who did what and when.

My eyes roamed the grand hall. It must have been three kilometres long and one kilometres high. This place was huge!

**"They began to hunt other, weak and unfortunate souls, for joy-"**And he was still continuing to talk about nonsense.

I felt the need to stretch, but ignored it in favour of mapping out each detail in Reiou's face with my eyes. I know that seems creepy but I'm seriously bored right now... and it's the only interesting thing right now.

**"And that brings me to creation of one of us. You and I are the same type of being yet we are the opposite of each other. You were a Shinigami turned Hollow turned Quincy, then fuzed to an Echt that bonded with a humanized Shinigami. Where as I was a Quincy turned Hollow turned Shinigami then fuzed to a pure blood Seireitei Shinigami and bonded with a humanized Quincy. We have the same basic process, ended up with the same being structure, yet began with different bases for our souls. Yet you and I are different. Turning a Shinigami into a full Vasto Lorde level Menos is not a small feat like it is to turn a Quincy into a full Vasto Lorde level Menos like I was."**Reiou said as he walked forward slightly towards me. I stood my ground and didn't waver as he was now no more than a dozen centimetres away from me. Looking down at me I stared into his eyes. **"This means that you have the potential to be significantly stronger than I am or could ever be. I will personally train you here. Where Time does not exist. Only does it exist in the outside world where not even a millisecond has passed since I've called you here an hour ago. You won't have any interruptions until your training is over. Do you have any objections?"**Reiou said calmly.

"Then I guess it's time to train, you damn awkward freak." I said bravely as my resolve hardened.

* * *

German translator.303:

-Du bist den Besten You are the best.

-Mutti = Mamma/Mummy

-Ich liebe dich! Ich liebe dich so sehr! = I love you! I love you so much!

-Sehr gut! = Very good!

-Ichigo, was ist los?= Ichigo, What's up (in this case what's wrong)

-Mutti, hast du gemanden geliebt? Vor Oyaji = Mamma, have you ever loved someone? Before Oyaji (Old man (Issshin))

-Hast du ach ihn geheiratet? = Have you even married him?

-Drachen-chan = Dragon. In case you haven't figured it out, I'm talking about Uryuu. His name is made of the Kanji for Rain and Dragon (雨竜). It's also cute because Uryuu is named after Ryuuken, whose name is made out of 竜弦 which is Dragon and Cord respectively.

-Gemischt = Mixed. The Bleach version of Mud Bloods.

-Echt = Pure. The Bleach version of Pure Bloods.

-Großonkel = Great/Grand Uncle (the brother to one's Grandfather/Grandmother)

-Enkel = Grandson

-Ich sehe = I see

-Tja = Yea. It's literally Yes with a T in front of it... and somehow in German adding more letters makes it more of a slang word xD (just kidding, don't hate on me Germans... it was a joke)

-Du lügstYou lie *insert D: face into your imagination*_  
_

-echte Kinder = pure Children. I should be teaching you German right now. Echt means pure and a noun so it's capitalized. Adding an E makes it an adjective and those don't need to be capitalized.

-Ryuu-ji-chan = Uncle Ryuu(ken). I know that this isn't German but I gave Ryuuken a nickname from his nephew Ichi-tan (which is the word for strawberry... exactly ichitan)

-Vatti = Daddy. It's the same as Mutti.

-Vater = Father

-Dreck = Dirt... I made Ichigo a little OOC here... he's being ... um prejudice against species... and chauvinistic.

-Ausscheren = lit: Swing out. But in this case I'm sure Taito-sama meant "Purge" which is also feasible.

-Tote = Dead. Yup I made Ichigo a fucking Zombie (apparently it's going to be _that_ type of fanfic. Just kidding xD)

-Ichichen = Little Ichi. I gave Ichi-chan a new nickname! A German Pet Name! Yes a Pet Name.

-Sterne Ritter = Star Knights (plural. The singular form is Stern Ritter). That's so bad ass! If you haven't been following the manga like you should be then you should be familiar with these. My favourite ones are of course the two Sterne Ritter A Juha Bach and Ishida Uryuu (who are the fucking emperor and his successor) and Stern Ritter B Jugram Haschwalth (please pronounce this like Ju- Go- Ra- M, Ha- Shh- VahLT (vault but with an 'ah' like the 'ah' in father). I'm definitely going to name my child that if i have one. such a bad ass name xD

-Heika = His majesty. Not German again but there's a lot of people who don't know what it means.

-Shunpou & Houhou are flash step and speed step techniques... that aren't German but some don't know that without being a super nerd.

-Blut = Blood.

-Reioukyuu = King's Palace. Again not German but not everyone speaks Japanese.

-Ouzokutokumu = King's Guard Squad/ Special Forces

-Difunto = Dead. It's Spanish, not German again.

-Seireitei = Soul Society (again you may not be an ultra nerd and not know it so I included it)

-Rukongai = Wandering Soul City is the literal translation. I have no idea what they call it in the English Dub so I gave you the literal translation.

Ichigo is a OOC in this chapter for a reason. To show the change of his character through out his life... even if he doesn't remember it.

I also wanted to simulate the emotional changes humans/humanoids go through under periods of strength (long or short).

* * *

I know that the last part seems kinda weird but it took me since the time when I updated the last chapter to write this piece of garbage. I had so much to do and I sorta lost my train of thought for this chapter.

luckily I jumped back on it. :D

but i'll save that for the next chapter that I will write tomorrow and upload ASAP

I still don't have any request as to which pairing i should use.

**_I will take any Ichigo-centric pairing requests for this story. (i'll add the others on my own)_**

**_I will also take any scene ideas (;D) because this is my first story on fanfic so i need the inspiration!_**


	4. Author's note Hiatus 'til next update

Hi everyone sorry I haven't been able to update this (and sorry there hasn't been any lemons yet). I got really busy when I first uploaded the previous chapter and I felt like I had to upload at least something before I went on vacation and then I would upload some more when I returned back to the greater Houston area where I live currently.

However that wasn't the case as I didn't get to finish my vacation after hearing that my best friend was diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease and will be on dialysis in three days and has already been put on the list to receive one kidney after having both of her kidneys (which are only working at 4-7%) removed. Right now I'm seeing if I am healthy enough to donate one of mine to her and because of that, I won't be updating for a while.

When I do update again I'll make the best chapter yet for all of you... lemon lovers... xD

See you next time

haatonooku


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